


A Treasured Memory of Water

by DoodlesOfTheMind



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comfort, Friendship/Love, Lemon, M/M, Memories, Non-Penetrative Sex, Shameless attempt to make you cry, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoodlesOfTheMind/pseuds/DoodlesOfTheMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itachi finally leans his head back against Shisui’s shoulder, looking up at him with clear, present eyes. He’s so... Beautiful. Perfect. Everything. There is no word for the way Itachi smiles slightly and nods at him, telling him that everything is alright, that he is alright. Yes, that is Uchiha Shisui’s favorite memory...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Treasured Memory of Water

 

 

Shisui smiles when Itachi sets one foot into the deep garden tub with him, then another, and his smile only widens when Itachi lowers himself completely inside, flinching at the just-slightly-too-cool temperature of the water coming from the faucet. Shisui’s done it on purpose, of course, and his plan works even better than he anticipated. Almost immediately, Itachi leans against him, his muscular back resting lightly on Shisui’s chest, sharing the warmth. Shisui is overjoyed that Itachi has done this so quickly, but he doesn’t move other than to adjust the tap so the water flowing into the tub is warmer, the way he knows Itachi likes it. The younger man makes a low sound of appreciation in his throat and relaxes further, thanking Shisui for the gesture. _Don’t push it_ , Shisui tells himself, allowing only one hand to run itself through Itachi’s long raven hair as he feels the youth’s back mold itself against his chest. It really wasn’t so long ago that Itachi, a child traumatized from fighting a war that he should never have had to see, had refused to let anyone but his baby brother touch him, even in the most casual ways. Shisui had shattered that barrier with his usual lack of grace, but somehow, over the years since then, Itachi had come to accept it. Shisui is still the only person Itachi permits to be this close to him, but the young man no longer activates his Sharingan on pure, defensive reflex when someone taps him on the arm to get his attention, no longer freezes, rigid at the feel of an arm around his shoulders as his desire to escape and his unwillingness to accidentally hurt the person who had ‘threatened’ him battle in his mind. Sometimes, on nights like this, Itachi even seeks him out, falling into step beside him when he’s on patrol, or turning up at his apartment with a shy smile that is reserved only for him, and Shisui never turns him away.

He turns off the tap, and in the silence that follows, he hears Itachi’s slow, even breathing grow just a little faster. No, Shisui would never turn him away. He shifts his hips slightly, forcing Itachi to lean back a little farther, to put himself a little more off balance if he is going to remain against him. Itachi turns his head, his onyx eyes giving him a look that says, _I know what you’re doing,_ but there is no threat behind it, and no fear. In fact, that small curve at the corner of his mouth might be the beginning of a smile. Itachi lets himself lay back and stretches to place a soft kiss on Shisui’s jaw.

Shisui takes it as an invitation and lets his hand slide out of Itachi’s hair and down to his chest, his fingertips tracing delicate patterns over the pale flesh, carefully avoiding a lasting bruise from Itachi’s mission three days ago. Itachi won’t say what happened, he never does anymore, but Shisui knows it was bad, and he doesn’t ask for anything more specific. He feels Itachi shiver as his hand reaches completely across him to trail along his ribs on the opposite side. Daring now, Shisui lets his entire arm rest across the younger man’s chest, holding Itachi close to him.

Now Itachi tenses, his shinobi instincts screaming at him that he is trapped, that he needs to put distance between them or he will get hurt. Or be the one to hurt _him._  Shisui’s hand stills, waiting. Itachi is more than capable of breaking away from a loose, one-armed hold like this. He could be gone in an instant, and neither of them want that. An eternity later, Itachi starts to relax again, but Shisui doesn’t even twitch until Itachi’s hand comes out of the water and touches his own, assuring him that it’s okay. Still holding Itachi against his chest, Shisui brings his other hand up out of the water, leaving trails of warm wetness across Itachi’s skin as he continues. Very gently, he runs his thumb along Itachi’s cheek and smiles when the younger man leans into his hand. The sound he makes then is enough to make Shisui’s manhood start to grow.

He feels Itachi try to shift away, to give him room, but he doesn’t let him, and Itachi soon settles back in place. Shisui almost wishes he wouldn’t; the little motions of his lover’s body so close to his own are just...mindblowing, and even more so because he knows Itachi has no idea of the effect he's having on him. _My clueless little tensai._

Shisui brings his legs up so his knees are above the water line. Again, Itachi tenses, knowing what’s coming, but Shisui waits, and after a while, Itachi starts to run his hand along Shisui’s thigh to tell him that he’s alright, though the motion is hampered a bit by Shisui’s hold on him. Shisui still waits. In the ANBU headquarters, he’s heard the tales of shinobi couples who, when the defensive instincts that they have spent their lives honing take over, can turn a night of pleasure into a sparring match, ending up with an unpleasant mixture of broken bones, bruised egos, and shattered relationships. This will never happen with Itachi, but he knows that something much worse could. Itachi would never fight him, never risk hurting him, but he could pull away inside, feeling nothing as he lets Shisui do as he wishes. He does this sometimes when he comes home from a mission and Sasuke is climbing all over him, begging him to play or train or help with his homework, entirely oblivious to the signs that Shisui has learned to read so well. If his hand trembles when he thinks you aren’t looking, he’s killed someone, and it doesn’t matter if he was the one who struck the blow, if he gave the order that led to it, or if he just couldn’t prevent it; they’re the same to him. When he won’t quite meet your eyes, he’s trying to hide in the only way a public figure like the Uchiha heir can. If he doesn’t answer you when you speak to him, he needs you to keep talking and comfort him, because he’s drowning inside, and you are all he has to hold on to. When he goes so, so still at your touch, it’s because he is afraid that he’ll hurt you if he so much as breathes too roughly, a fear born of being such a gifted fighter that almost no one can match him, and too many losses for which he blames only himself. _Stay with me, ‘Tachi,_ Shisui wants to say, but to speak it will only make it more likely that Itachi will try too hard and end up doing the opposite.

Itachi finally leans his head back against Shisui’s shoulder, looking up at him with clear, present eyes. He’s so... _Beautiful. Perfect. Everything._ There is no word for the way Itachi smiles slightly and nods at him, telling him that everything is alright, that _he_ is alright. Shisui doesn’t wait for him to change his mind. In an instant, his legs wrap over Itachi’s, pinning them to the sides of the tub as his one armed grip tightens to keep both of his lover’s arms against his sides. Itachi jerks, but he’s truly helpless now, and all he manages to do is make Shisui pant with pleasure as he grinds back against him.

Shisui waits again, keeping a tight hold on Itachi and watching as his breathing picks up, becoming slightly unsteady as he struggles. He knows Itachi can’t help but test the strength of the limbs holding onto him, and he’s prepared for it, but it doesn’t change his hope that someday, a time will come when Itachi doesn’t have to, when he can really let himself trust Shisui in that way. But this is trust, in Itachi’s world. They have tried other ways, but unless Itachi is completely controlled by Shisui, his focus will always be split between what the two of them are doing, and keeping his own reactions in check. If he knows that he can potentially hurt Shisui, he will never fully relax, and then his mind will check out, leaving the mechanical functions of his body without anything else behind them. No matter how incredible Itachi can be when he is free to move, neither of them want it like that. It hurts them both too much.

By the time Itachi settles again, Shisui is close to the edge, breathing through clenched teeth as he holds it back. Itachi hears this and wriggles again, apparently pleased when he draws a slight gasp from his lover. Shisui swats him lightly, warning him, but Itachi does it again. Shisui smirks and leans closer to his ear. “One more time, and I’m done. If that happens, you’ll never get your turn,” he murmurs.

This has the desired effect: Itachi knows he’s teasing, something that Shisui can’t always count on, but he stills against him. Shisui takes a minute to get himself under control. Itachi can take a while sometimes, even under Shisui’s expert hands, and Shisui knows he’s too tired to manage more than one. He’d never say anything, but the insane mission schedule they’ve been running in ANBU, as well as worrying about Itachi and managing the Uchiha Elders’ insane demands during every spare second is crushing him. But he doesn’t want to think about that now, not with the far too perceptive Itachi in his arms, so he pushes it to the back of his mind and walls it away.

Itachi is perfectly still the entire time, lying back against Shisui with his eyes closed, only his racing heartbeat betraying how difficult it is for him to wait. Shisui smiles, even though he knows Itachi can’t see him, and kisses his hair. _You’re so spoiled, so impatient, even if you're too stubborn to show it,_ he thinks as his free hand resumes the light, delicate tracing of Itachi’s torso. _I’d do anything for you._

Itachi starts to react, but remembers Shisui’s admonition and stays still. Shisui chuckles and lets his hand trail a little lower, brushing over Itachi’s narrow hips. This time, Itachi can’t help it as he moves, silently begging for Shisui to hurry. But he doesn’t. Shisui leisurely runs his hand along Itachi’s inner thigh, but no closer, eliciting a quiet breath of frustration. He looks down and sees that Itachi is fully erect and trembling a little, and he realizes just how long it’s been for the two of them. Itachi’s maddening ANBU schedule and his missions for the clan have kept them apart for months now, and escaping Sasuke’s prying eyes has become more and more difficult with the skills the boy has been gaining in the Academy. Explaining their relationship to Itachi’s little brother is not high on the list of things that Shisui wants to deal with any time soon, though it ranks slightly higher than telling the Lord and Lady Uchiha. Despite this, he hates the secrecy, the excuses, the way Itachi can so easily slide between being the perfect shinobi that is Itachi-sama, and being his precious, vulnerable ‘Tachi, the two identities always distinct.

Shisui’s not the vengeful type, but right now, he wants Itachi to remember what Shisui can do for him, to need him like he needs air to breathe, so he continues sliding his fingers over his lover’s thighs and lower stomach, drawing ever closer, and then slipping away. He doesn’t know that Itachi already does. That he has for many years now.

Itachi lets out a quiet whimper, and Shisui takes pity on him. He slides his hand around Itachi’s shaft, his touch feather light so he doesn’t startle him. Itachi still gasps and tries to thrust himself into Shisui’s hand, but Shisui expects that and he’s ready, holding Itachi tightly to his chest. Itachi strains against him as Shisui continues stroking him, and though he’s sending little lightning bolts of pleasure into Shisui’s groin, he doesn’t have the leverage to do anything for himself. Shisui moves his hand upward, toying with the sensitive tip, and Itachi’s back arches.

“You like that, ‘Tachi?” he murmurs, repeating the motion.

Itachi’s jaw tenses against Shisui’s shoulder as he sucks in a breath, but he doesn’t answer. That means he does, Shisui knows. If the normally eloquent Itachi is able to speak, Shisui isn’t doing his job. He returns to the long, drawn out strokes that he knows Itachi can handle, and then surprises him by doing it again. And again. Itachi’s legs pull against his own, trying to free themselves from the prison of Shisui’s limbs so he can take control, and it takes all Shisui’s strength to hold him back. Times like these were a major motivation for him to continue his taijutsu training, despite being a genjutsu specialist.

Itachi’s hips take up the rhythm of Shisui’s hand, and Shisui cries out, unprepared for the onslaught of pleasure as Itachi rubs against him. His hand tightens involuntarily around Itachi, drawing a soft moan from his throat. It’s a sound he’s never heard him make, and he wants to hear it again. So he does, and Itachi’s hands clasp onto Shisui’s thighs as he starts to lose himself. Shisui’s hand moves faster, harder, and he feels Itachi deliberately push himself back against him, letting him share in the sensation.

As he kisses Itachi’s neck, he knows he won’t last much longer. He almost aches with the need for release, and Itachi’s little cries tell him that he needs it too. Shisui shifts his hand to a better angle and rolls his hips up toward Itachi. His hand moves once, twice, and on the third stroke, Itachi gives in, gasping as his climax overtakes him. “Shisui,” he sighs, and that’s enough to send Shisui over the edge with him.

Shisui loosens his hold on Itachi as he catches his breath, but Itachi makes no move to get away from him. In fact, he turns on his side and shifts upward, bringing his face level with Shisui’s. He hesitates for half a second, and Shisui knows that he is calculating precisely how long he can kiss him before they both pass out from oxygen deprivation. Whatever conclusion he comes to, Shisui is happy with it when their lips connect and he feels Itachi’s tongue brush his own.

 

Yes, that is Uchiha Shisui’s favorite memory, and it is the one he clings to as he feels the frigid water of the Naka River close over his face, two familiar, shaking hands holding him down. The genjutsu specialist tries a trick that he doesn’t know will work (after all, what sane man would even try to put a genjutsu on _himself?_ ), but it does, and instead of Itachi’s red, tear filled eyes, he sees those dark ones gazing up at him again. Now the reason he cannot breathe is because his lips are sealed against the love of his life’s, and he has no desire to break that connection, no matter what follows. He lets himself get lost in the illusion because he can’t bear to think about what’s really happening. Even so, he wouldn’t change it for the world. Itachi needs the Mangekyo to protect Sasuke, whom he loves in a way that Shisui knows he will never be able to equal. Shisui has tried everything to keep him from this painful task, but nothing he’s done has been enough to sway the Uchiha clan or the village council from this course. He only hopes Itachi can find peace afterward, when all is done. Peace was all the traumatized boy that he once was had ever desired, and very little had changed since then. Shisui feels his lips form words, but the water rushes into his mouth, and he knows Itachi won’t be able to hear him. He tries anyway.

“It’s okay. I love you, ‘Tachi. Forever.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I don't own Naruto or any characters from the series. I ship ItaShi pretty regularly and was doodling around with their relationship in the context of Itachi suffering from PTSD and emotional/trust issues after fighting in the war as a child, continuing his career as a shinobi, and the impending Uchiha massacre. I've always written Shisui as the one who helps pull him out of it, and the idea for this sweet bonding moment just came to me. Of course, since it's Itachi, I had to throw in a heartbreaker there at the end (because no matter how much these two deserve a happy ending, it just never feels right to give it to them). Please read and review!


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